Economy in Writing

Downloadable version (Microsoft Word document)

Writing is wordy when it uses more words than are necessary to convey meaning. Eliminate wordiness as you revise your writing by addressing the following topics:

Useless Introductory Words

Wordy: Upon reflection, I recall eating cherry tomatoes at the reception.
Concise: I recall eating cherry tomatoes at the reception.

Saying upon reflection before I recall is like saying "I remember" twice.

Unnecessary Relative Clauses

Wordy: The smoke which comes from factories that are situated in the valley pollutes the air.
Concise: The smoke from factories in the valley pollutes the air.

While which comes and that are situated are relative clauses that modify smoke and factories respectively, they do not add any additional clarification or meaning to the sentence.

Overuse of Prepositional Phrases

Wordy: College students are required by the university to make payments of their tuition fees before the time of their registration.
Concise: University students are required to pay tuition before registration.

Notice university, tuition, and registration are necessary—putting them inside prepositional phrases is not.

Vague Nouns

Wordy: The nature of the crisis situation was such that it called for our immediate attention.
Concise: The crisis required our immediate attention.

Remove vague nouns such as nature and situation, neither of which add any additional meaning to the sentence.

Useless Repetition

Wordy: Before leaving on our trip, we stopped at the store for some basic essentials, including a crate of peaches. The peaches we bought for our trip were all small in size and green in color, though, so we ended up not eating many of them on our trip.
Concise:  Before leaving on our trip, we stopped at the store for some essentials, including a crate of peaches. They were so small and green that, ultimately, we did not eat many of them.

It is clear from the first sentence that the peaches were bought for the trip.  It is unnecessary to restate peaches or place their size and color in prepositional phrases. Using pronouns also helps reduce repetition.

Lengthy Modifiers

Wordy: The mishap occurred due to the fact that there was nothing to prevent it.
Concise: The mishap occurred because there was nothing to prevent it.

In this example, due to the fact that is a long and unnecessary way of explaining why the mishap occurred.  All the sentence needs in order to be clear is because.

Passive Voice

Wordy: The match had been won by the world champion shortly after it started.
Concise: The world champion won the match shortly after it started.

Writing in active voice (in this case by removing had been and making the world champion the subject of the sentence) will remove unnecessary words from your writing and allow you to communicate clearly.

Note: For more information on active and passive voice, see the handout Active and Passive Voice.

Reviewing your writing for these common wordiness problems will make your writing more concise.

Revised by Jessie Leatham & Steve Haderlie, summer 2005
Laura Bird, Feb. 1993