Young Family Christmas Quiz

The Young Family Christmas Quiz 2006
We're terribly late getting our Christmas quiz out--the latest (well into January) we've ever been. We had an exciting year and a wonderful Christmas, but we seem to be slowing down in our old age. Anyway, you've already read all your other Christmas cards, so you can give this one your undivided attention. We hope you enjoy it.

1. In July Bruce went to Brisbane, Australia, to attend:

(A) a celebration of Australian genealogy from the years when it was used as a prison colony. (Bruce's ancestors include some Australians, and he wanted to find out once and for all whether they did hard time.)

(B) the World Shakespeare Congress, where he attended (among many other things) a workshop on "Freeing Your Inner Clown." (He is willing to teach the important things he learned. Contact him at BYU if you're interested. Bring your own nose, preferably one that doesn't fall off easily.)

(C) an anti-C. S. Lewis symposium hosted by a group which thinks Lewis is demonic (citing The Screwtape Letters as ultimate evidence). Bruce went to survey "the opposition."

(D) a celebration of Chaucer where celebrants had to dress as one of the characters in Canterbury Tales. Bruce chose the pardoner.

2. Margaret took Michael and Julie to Guatemala for a month, where they

(A) ran barefoot through torrential rainstorms--much to the entertainment of the natives, who knew better than to be running outside during a storm.

(B) gave musical concerts (Julie and Margaret singing; Michael playing guitar).

(D) experienced a 5.2 magnitude earthquake. (It was offshore, so it didn't feel that strong in Patzicia.)

(E) bought a Cakchiquel-speaking parrot. (Nobody but Margaret knows that the parrot is actually swearing when it talks. Well, now YOU know.)

(F) a, b, c, & d

3. Julie, who recently turned 18, has many interests, including art, photography, film making, writing poetry and essays, and writing to a missionary. She is primed for early high school graduation and then plans on

(A) going to the School of Professional Manicurists (called "Unusual Nail-Like Visions" or UNLV).

(B) eventually getting a PhD in social work, hoping to become a therapist.

(C) training to become a professional clown, inspired by her father's experience in Australia. (Right now, she can juggle oranges and apples but doesn't do so well with pumpkin pies or piglets.)

(D) auditioning for American Idol in New York.

4. Fifteen-year-old Michael has started high school. He loves all of the following EXCEPT

(A) playing the guitar (he plays amazingly both electric and acoustic).

(B) playing with his dog, Sandy.

(D) making movies (including several in collaboration with a group of friends called "Three Boys in the Basement").

5. Salt Lake City did a magnificent job hosting this year's AAHGS conference. Margaret attended, gave a presentation, and even helped lead a bus tour. AAHGS stands for:

(A) All-American High Goal Seekers (AKA Overachievers Anonymous). The bus tour included stops for participants to hang-glide, compete in an Astrophysics College Bowl, sing an aria, and do a figure skating routine on Salt Lake City's Olympic skating rinks.

(B) Anti-Autoimmune Hemoglobin Syndrome (a rare disease Margaret contracted in Guatemala).

(D) Afro-American Historical and Genealogical Society. (The bus tour included Black history sites in the Salt Lake area.)

6. While in Guatemala, Margaret and the kids were joined by Bruce for ten days. During this time, they went to Tikal and Belize. In Belize

(A) Julie learned how hot the Caribbean sun really is as she proceeded to burn rather than tan.

(B) Michael snorkeled in "Shark Alley," alongside rays and nurse sharks.

(C) Margaret snorkeled with Michael and got the worst sunburn of her life (requiring a visit to a dermatologist and several months to heal).

(D) Bruce got bitten by a fish while swimming near shore. He thinks it was probably a bluefish or possibly a southern sennet or bonefish.

(E) All of the above

7. In Tikal, the Youngs saw

(A) spider monkeys playing in the jungle.

(B) George Lucas, who was filming a movie tentatively titled Outpost on the Fourth Moon of Yavini. (The kids were too shy to approach him, but Bruce said, "Hi George. There are some spider monkeys over there, in case you missed them." George Lucas answered, "Really? Cool! Thanks a lot! It's people like you who make my job easy." Bruce credits his boldness to the clown seminar.)

(D) a large cenote once used for human sacrifice.

8. Rob recently finished writing a novel and now works as an account manager for Heritage Web Solutions. During 2006 he returned from Cedar City to Provo and also returned to the theater, where he reprised his role as Major General in Pirates of Penzance. This time, however, there was a change . . .

(A) Rob had been in a bicycle accident which rendered him a tenor rather than a bass.

(B) Rob's sister, Julie, was also in the play, portraying one of the Major General's daughters.

(D) Michael, as an understudy, portrayed the orphan often. Or was that the often orphan?

9. Kaila and Noah (who both graduated from BYU in 2006) completed remodeling their home and promptly sold it, then moved to

(A) Tokyo, Japan, where Noah will be designing bridges for bonsai gardens. When offered the job, Noah initially questioned, "What are these? Bridges for ants???"

(B) Salzburg, Austria, where Kaila will be portraying Maria Von Trapp in The Sound of Music for USC's "Study of Broads" program.

(D) South Orem.

10. In addition to our international travel, we spent time this year in

(A) Los Angeles, where a flight attendant friend did a splendid job hosting Margaret, Julie, and Michael during a six-hour layover on their way back from Guatemala. He took them to the beach and then to dinner, and the hours flew by.

(B) Idaho Falls, Idaho, and Payson, Utah (most of the family to Idaho and Bruce to Payson for competing reunions).

(D) Alpine, Utah, for a 10-year London Study Abroad reunion.

(E) Cedar City, Utah, to visit Rob and see Antony and Cleopatra and H.M.S. Pinafore at the Utah Shakespearean Festival.

(F) All of the above

11. The most macho thing Bruce did this year was

(A) finally completing several writing projects (a piece on Chaim Potok, an essay on peace, and a review--co-written with Margaret and Rob--of the film States of Grace).

(B) giving a presentation on Shakespeare to 400 rowdy ninth graders in Sandy, Utah.

(D) changing a tire one cold, dark night on the side of the freeway.

(E) growing tomatoes, peppers, and squash in our backyard garden.

(F) helping put in a dog run and regrowing our back lawn, which our dogs had destroyed.

(G) appearing as a commentator on WWE--not realizing that the whole thing was a set up and he would end up wrestling some bald guy who couldn't even describe a sonnet. He actually thought a sonnet had only ten lines and was anapestic tetrameter. And he called himself a pro!
NOTE: Bruce did all but one of the items listed. But in order to answer this question correctly, you need to know the definition of "macho" as found in the BYU-specific dictionary, and available in the English Department. Once you know that, the answer is obvious.